Wednesday, July 1, 2009
Love vs. Rights
I haven't been following this custody battle but I saw this clip last week on the treadmill. In my opinion, it appears to be another case of I-am-the-father-I-have-my-rights... not a sympathetic parent demonstrating love and a strong desire to be with his child. He hardly made an effort to even make contact until the mother died. I believe if this is really about being with his son, he should jump on the opportunity to have him back 6 days a week (unsupervised), even if it does mean temporarily relocating to Brazil. What is more important? He is fighting to win the battle, meanwhile losing the war (connection with his son). Seems he would be much more likely to get custody, if he had a relationship with his son. Heck, he could even try to "kidnap" his son back to the US & the fight from here.
Maybe I'm judging somewhat based on personal experience as a child in a custody battle. My biological father fought for sole custody & when he didn't get it, the visits and contact ceased. My father & I are close now, but he missed out on my childhood. My step-father was my "dad".
A child isn't impressed with how much you fight for them and they don't want to hear about it or be in the middle of the two most important people in their lives. What really matters is the love and connection that is shared through time and experiences. If fact, they are more likely to sympathize with the parent who is less angry and more loving. David Goldman doesn't get it. It does appear that his son is happy and well adjusted with his extended family in Brazil. Here is a link to the interview with the step-father & grandmother: http://www.metacafe.com/watch/cb-vmAzkZJnT_2MfUtefPUapQTrRSZxfDLX/exclusive_the_fight_for_sean/