Wednesday, July 1, 2009

Love vs. Rights

I haven't been following this custody battle but I saw this clip last week on the treadmill. In my opinion, it appears to be another case of I-am-the-father-I-have-my-rights... not a sympathetic parent demonstrating love and a strong desire to be with his child. He hardly made an effort to even make contact until the mother died. I believe if this is really about being with his son, he should jump on the opportunity to have him back 6 days a week (unsupervised), even if it does mean temporarily relocating to Brazil. What is more important? He is fighting to win the battle, meanwhile losing the war (connection with his son). Seems he would be much more likely to get custody, if he had a relationship with his son. Heck, he could even try to "kidnap" his son back to the US & the fight from here.

Maybe I'm judging somewhat based on personal experience as a child in a custody battle. My biological father fought for sole custody & when he didn't get it, the visits and contact ceased. My father & I are close now, but he missed out on my childhood. My step-father was my "dad".

A child isn't impressed with how much you fight for them and they don't want to hear about it or be in the middle of the two most important people in their lives. What really matters is the love and connection that is shared through time and experiences. If fact, they are more likely to sympathize with the parent who is less angry and more loving. David Goldman doesn't get it. It does appear that his son is happy and well adjusted with his extended family in Brazil. Here is a link to the interview with the step-father & grandmother:
Sad Situation.


foodcreate said...

How Sad for the Child~


Anonymous said...

Perhaps you should try not to project your own experience on this poor man. I have been following the story and while you are certainly entitled to your opinion you have the facts all wrong. I suggest doing a little research and not passing judgments off of one interview. This man has been fighting e-v-e-r-y step of the way and has had his heart ripped from his chest. Just saying. Do your research next time. :)

Sherié said...

Thanks. I realize it's a controversial story, and true I haven't been following it. I did watch a few more clips and checked out the key events. I was also going to add the recent interview with the maternal grandmother & stepfather:;contentBody
Also, true that my experience was no where near as complicated or heartbreaking...maybe it just made me a little biased. :)

Why Kourtnie of course said...

I also have been following this story- I have read a lot on this battle. I am disgusted by the foreign government allowing the mother to get away with kidnapping this child. This is truly a story of a self center woman who didn't care about the welfare of her child. The struggle the father has been through is heart wrenching.

Sherié said...

Thank you for your comment! It's no doubt a heart wrenching decision for everyone involved...especially the father. However, we are only presented with primarily one side of the story. And since you're one of my best friends (Kourtnie), I'll also say that it's challenging to really identify with all the emotions when you've never personally had children (protective mother instincts), or been married (& dealt with divorce & custody), your parents are still fortunately married, and your family all live in the country. I'm confident you know more about the story than I's complicated & tragic.

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